| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2007|12:06 am] |
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This flu going around the city has wicked visuals. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 11th, 2007|06:43 pm] |
Dear Trent Reznor,
In response to the track "The Greater Good" off your forthcoming album; I feel I must explain something to you.
You are not Aphex Twin.
You should also not have a line of coke midway through singing and then over-dramatically scream a line, before undertaking the aforementioned emulation of another artist. Not unless you're willing to buy a parasol and do a little dance.
Please buy a parasol and do a little dance.
Sincerely,
Dr. Black (PhD, BA, Lol, Wtf, BBQ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2007|04:17 am] |
Easter. Was. Fantastic.
FREE DEAD JESUSES FOR ALL.
Jesi?
Jedi?
Is Jeff scattered and half asleep?
Yes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 16th, 2007|01:31 am] |
Heh. I just beat a rat with a frying pan in my bath at 1am.
*laughs hysterically*
I'll post pictures tomorrow! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 16th, 2007|09:27 pm] |
I'm having my head shaved for charity.
Am I going to wax it to make it act as a mirror?
Of course.
Am I going to grow a Dr. Venture pointed goatee to accompany?
Damn straight.
Am I going to borrow Evan's wheelchair and pretend to have cancer to get backstage at concerts and ask groupies for blowjobs?
You'd better fuckin' believe it. |
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| A conclusion |
[Feb. 3rd, 2007|11:00 am] |
Well, at long last the bullshit scenario with work ended. We're both (sam and I) being retained on permanent.
So, uh, yeah. Turns out my potentially destructive moral standpoint actually won. Sam would have been fired if I hadn't stuck my ground.
Don't look at me, I'm as surprised something actually worked out as the next man. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 27th, 2007|12:06 pm] |
I'm feeling beligerant. I think I'll buy a typewriter and start penning letters of concern.
WHY AM I SO OLD |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2007|01:09 am] |
Today I made a bong out of a totally awesome piece of random glassware from the lab.
We named it Sputnik.
It was rad.
Within 2 hours I broke it and cut my finger.
Tomorrow I will take another. If I don't, the man wins.
Teh Endz! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2007|08:08 pm] |
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Oh. And now it seems that the universe has finished playing piggy in the middle with my sanity over a chasm again, we shall now return to the normal lj style of less-emo, less-length, more-cross dressing and a style of madness that just don't quit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2007|07:44 pm] |
Okie dokey kittens!
Well, the condition had indeed been changed to a supposed 'trial' between myself and sam for the position. However, I quickly established that:
(a) Sam intends to quit after the 4 weeks anyway, and to use the time to get a new job. Since this point, she's called in sick most days.
(b) Jane wanted sam to go regardless, and that the specifics were that one would be offered full time, and one part time, and she intended to give me the full time.
Well before long Lady Jane was talking to the new algae people, to whom I was automatically introduced as "Jeff, our full time microbiological analyst".
Anyway, after all these fun and shenanigans, I took friday off as to attend Bob's (Jack's dad) funeral. Jack made an absolutely amazing speech, it reminded everyone of Bob's speech at Jack's 21st which made me blubber like a baby and wish he was my father. Caught up with some people at the wake, but after a while everyone left because they were all couples and they wanted to just be by themselves to deal with all that had happened. Had a bit of an emo night of course, but whores will have their trinkets as my infernal brain will have its nights of self depreciation.
After this point, I was pretty damn mood swingy all weekend, down saturday morning, superfunhappytime saturday night and sunday morning, and pretty drained the rest of sunday.
Now, pleased as punch about how things were heading with work as I was, my body never does seem to like the stresses involved, even if I feel ok with them. Broken sleep sunday night, followed by some cuh-razy moodswings all of monday. At one point, for about an hour and a quarter they became so rapid that for 5 minutes I'd want to cry and tear my hair out, then for 5 minutes I'd be torn between wanting to scream, cry and laugh hysterically while settling for wanting to tear at my flesh a little, then I'd giggle constantly for 5 minutes while doing a little irish jig. These calmed down in the evening to a more slow pace, before my subconscious decided it was crazy dream time.
I slept for about 1 hour at a time monday night, about 4 times. In each dream sequence I revisited places I'd been in the last few weeks; while encountering random people I'd know who would go on strange rants about life, or teach me metaphorical lessons. One example was running into Kag in my dream, who while giving me a greeting hug jammed her thumb up under my ribcage, and refused to remove it until I stopped struggling and accepted that I had to calm the fuck down or I'd just make bad shit worse.
Needless to say, I was in a bit of a weird state of mind all of tuesday, and resolved that I really had to get the fuck out of the house that night. Which I did. The ever lovely Anna and Honi invited me around, wherein I partook of the fine green herb. And bam. Instantly better. Slept like a damn baby. Now, weed has recently been making me more anxious about shit, because I find it harder to be constantly focussed on what might happen in the coming days and so I'm anxious about not being anxious enough. However, thanks to Kag and her thumb of pain, I was prepared to simply not give a fuck because I'd really played all the cards I could for the time being.
And since then, I feel much, much MUCH fucking better.
In news today, I've been asked to sign my permanent contract tomorrow. 2 cars tried to kill me on the way home. I think that was like the universe giving me a friendly kick in the head, just to remind me that it's there.
fin. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2007|06:11 am] |
Work eventually called yesterday to say the situation was dealt with and I'd start today.
Later that day, Sam messaged me to tell me what had actually happened was that we'd be competing for the position for the next 4 weeks.
Stressed now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|04:01 pm] |
In todays news, a dead bird fell from an unknown height and landed in front of my car.
Turns out they bounce a little. But not enough to market as a children's toy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2007|05:19 pm] |
ZOMG Port Royal pouches now have a second sticky tab for when the first one doesn't hold anymore.
I'M SO HAPPY. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2007|05:08 pm] |
Ok, my chances just improved. Sam also took today off. This would be bad. However, she has gotten herself a nice medical certificate for the two days, so that's enough of an arm breaker for me to tap dance my way out of this.
I've tap danced my way through worse situations. Just please don't ask me to list any. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2007|06:29 pm] |
Update on the drama, as of 4:30 thursday the 4th.
I haven't been sacked yet. Key word being yet. David the cuntboss was obviously blanking me all day, talking to people on either side of me but not making eye contact or saying a word to me; with particularly guarded body language. He knows. He knows I know. We all know that we all know. Everyone is just waiting for someone to make the first move.
Also for the evidence locker, I noticed that my name had been rubbed off the duty roster.
I left at 4, so I don't know about Tracy being fired. Either they decided to postpone the firings for the day, they just hadn't happened yet, or I've finally gone insane and imagined the whole thing. Seriously, don't think the last option isn't making me paranoid as fuck.
I'm rapidly flicking between two minds at the moment, although I've gotten a calm, numb handle on the whole thing right now; which is a nice change from this morning when I really, really, really wanted to hide in my room and cut. One mind says bring it on. It's a fucked company anyway. I don't really want to get paid bugger all and get manipulated and treated like shit. When the other shoe finally drops, I'll tell them that I did what I had to do, and that's the long and the short of it. The other mind just remembers that between those hours when I found out I'd be finally getting a full time position and when I found out the sacrifice the universe demanded; I was happier than I'd been in at least a year or two.
...
Oh, in other news, I just got home and found out that Jack, one of the very few people who were actually my friends in high school, his Dad just had a stroke and is in a coma. Judging by the sounds of it, it was too many hours before he got into hospital for him to get out of this with anything better than severe mental retardation.
Oh 2007 you rogue, what won't you do! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2007|11:00 pm] |
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Oh bugger and I'm out of cigarettes. Fucking tops. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2007|10:02 pm] |
Wow. 2007 was impressively quick off the bat to crazyfy my shit.
Way back, in the sunny days of mid december 2006, our young hero Jeff was a bit crazy, selfish, insecure and paranoid. But then lo, the dawn of the Wii came, heralding in a new era.
Coinciding this release, young Jeffy had planned a trip to the art gallery on acid with some friends. When the friends were unable to come, was he disheartened? Oh no, with resolve he took that acid and went to the art gallery. Well acid turned into mescaline and mescaline turned into a long epic walkabout of the city and southside that turned into a long day of stimulants and Wii boxing.
And thus it went, coupled with withdrawl from cigarettes and antidepressants, Jeff was mighty mood swingy for a few days.
As the days of moods passed by, Jeff began to feel different. He could smell a certain something on the breeze, he could tell some good things were coming. And come they did. More shifts came in at work, and money was not so scarce! He made new friends and resolved old quarrels! He had the best christmas and new years he had ever experience, dancing throughout the new year until the sun came up, bonding with people and feeling the love of friends!
As he returned home to regroup, a mysterious phone call came from work. It was the microbiology boss, asking if he could come in the next day for a meeting. "Why of course" he replied. After hanging up, he quickly became anxious, wondering if this was a good or a bad thing. Perhaps he was being fired, or given a job, or chewed out about something. Early the next day, Jane called again. Jeff took this opportunity to ask whether this meeting was good or bad.
"Good!" she replied, and explained that Jeffy was being offered a permanent position.
Well our hero was simply overjoyed. The world felt great. Jeff hummed while he smoked, and whistled while he walked. Finally the days of financial instability were over! As the appointed hour was reached, Jeff sat and was told of a plan.
Management had decided to reshuffle!
As a result of this, two workers were to be fired: Tracy, an admin worker who had spent the previous week crying because her boyfriend was cheating on her and was potentially the thief of all her family's christmas presents; and Sam, a hard working young microbiologist and a friend of Jeff's.
It suddenly seemed that Jeff was to take her position! It was revealed that Sam was to be fired because she was unable to work all of tuesdays, a day she was to spend half of at uni for the first half of the year. It was also mentioned that sam was to be let go at the end of her probational period a month previously, which was instead extended as so sam would be around for the heavy incoming workload during december. He was of course, sworn to secrecy about this.
But Jeff would have none of this! These actions were morally ghastly! He reached the resolve that these people deserved to know. Now he could not help Tracy, for he did not know her well, but he arranged to meet her after work to reveal the sordid conspiritous affair. After the tears, Sam was grateful for the truth. Jeff knew he had done the right thing but seeing a friend in pain had caused his anger to give way to sadness.
He met up with friends to regroup for the night with a few quiet cones. However, as he began to relax despite the twinges of sadness, Sam sent a message to his mobile telephone, explaining that she was to take legal action on grounds of unfair dismissal. Of course dear reader, this would mean that Jeff was sure to be revealled as the source of the information, and thus would most certainly not only mean he did not receive full time employment, but would most likely lose his job in its entirety!
...
Oh damn, I've fallen down another drama rabbit hole. Silly silly Jeff.
In our next issue of 'Jeff's life makes no sense whatsoever', we'll see how Jeff goes when he turns up tomorrow to help move equipment from a newly aquired laboratory on the day the employees in question are to be fired, except that Sam will be calling in sick whilest she seeks legal advice, quite possibly causing the managers to put 2 and 2 together. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2006|05:02 pm] |
There are no longer any family members in the same state as me.
Therefore this Christmas is 94.356% likely to be the best Christmas ever.
The magic mushrooms I'm very excited about getting will probably account for the rest.
Ole! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2006|10:38 pm] |
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Whoa. Who the fuck was I this year? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2006|01:04 am] |
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Raise your genitals if you feel like making a trip down to Byron on the 22nd of January to go see Peaches. |
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